Mother. Mommy. Mom. Mama. Madre. Mamacita. Mum. Every year, it still seems incredible to me that I have that title! I have created 3 little people on this earth whom I am responsible for!?! I know I am not alone in my constant worry...am I a good enough mom? Am I present enough? Do they have good manners? Are they happy? Do they know how much I love them? Should I buy more organic food? Are they too overscheduled (yes)? Why did I agree to the guinea pig? Are they volunteering enough? I should explain to Jack that orange juice can be served alone. Without champagne. For breakfast. Are they getting enough rest? Are they going to get into a good college? Will they ever pick up their rooms (I know, Mom, payback is a bitch)? They should learn a second language. They should learn to stop using THAT language. Did I remember to put sunscreen on their faces? They should be reading more. Instagramming/snapchatting/facetiming less. Are we having enough forced family fun? ETC! ETC! ETC!
Then last night this happened:
I was up late working on yet another school project with Mattie, and right in the middle of it she turns to me and says, "Mom, have you heard the new song by Jordan Smith?"
Me: No, who is Jordan Smith?
M: He won The Voice.
Me: That's great honey, but it's really late, and I'm really tired, so can we focus and finish and go to bed?
M: But Mom, it's a really AWESOME SONG.
Me: That's cool. I'l listen to it later.
M: BUT.
Me. NO.
M: Fine. Big sigh.
I came into my studio this morning to finish this blog, and she had put You Tube up on my screen with Jordan's song ready to go....I hit play.
Then I hit play again. And again.
Jordan's song, Stand in the LIght, is not only beautifully written, but his voice, his journey, and his courgage. Amazing. Every mother's dream for her baby.
I suddenly had tears streaming down my face as I realized that in this one moment, just for a second, this is what I wish for them, what I have wished for myself, and for all of us Moms out there: to stand in the light and be seen as we are.
"Stand in the light and be seen as we are
Didn't I tell you I hear what you say?
Never look back as you're walking away
Carry the music, the memories and keep them inside
You
Laugh every day
Don't stop those tears from falling down
With courage and kindness hold onto your faith
You get what you give and its never too late
To reach for the branch and climb up leaving sadness behind
You
Fight hard for love
We can never give enough
Stand in the light and be seen as we are."
With Love From Me to Hue this Mother's Day,
Jackie xo
Mattie, Lizzie, and Jack. Thank you for making me a Mom. Love you to the moon and back. And then some. xo